


Shaun Fights Desmond Over A Couch

by Potato (nerdclubcosplay)



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Altair is probably watching from the afterlife like "what the heck has the Creed come to...", Assassin's Creed - Freeform, Assassin's Creed II, Assassin's Creed III, Assassin's Creed crack, Crack, Desmond loves his cereal, Ezio has a camera too, Fluff, Fluffy Assassins, I have more fun writing these tags than writing fanfiction, Lucy and Rebecca continue to be memes, M/M, Pranks, Slice of Life, The Animus doesn't have time for these eggs, he ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:58:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdclubcosplay/pseuds/Potato
Summary: Shaun just wanted to read in peace, but Desmond just HAD to decide that he wanted that specific couch. He won't sit with Lucy and Rebecca after "The Thing", and Shaun doesn't want to move.





	Shaun Fights Desmond Over A Couch

**Author's Note:**

> As always, with my writing, a slight warning for language.

     “Alright, twink, bring it on!” Desmond shouted.

     Rebecca and Lucy watched, amused, as Shaun lazily defended the couch he was sitting on with his feet. Unsuccessfully, Desmond was trying to pull the British man off of it. Shaun just kept reading as he kicked the other man away again and again, chuckling to himself whenever he managed to knock him to the floor.

     “Get off my damn couch, Shaun.”

     “What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you falling on your arse."

     Desmond growled and flipped his hood up. Lucy snickered at that. Now in his full Assassin mode, Desmond leaped onto the back of the couch and owled over Shaun. The Brit didn’t look up from his book. Now closer, Desmond realized that he wasn’t even reading and the book was upside-down.

     “You think I’m an idiot? You aren’t reading!”

     “Well, you didn’t notice until now, so I’m going to assure you that I don’t _think_ you are an idiot, I _know_ you are.”

     Desmond slid off the back of the couch and into Shaun’s lap, causing him to grunt in discomfort.

     “Bloody hell, Desmond, you weigh like three hundred pounds!”

     “I do not! I’m only 178!”

     “Really? I’m around 165, how do you feel so heavy?”

     “Because you’re a literal noodle and I do not believe you are a pound over 130?”

     Lucy turned to Rebecca, who was snorting in amusement at the scene taking place on the other couch. She subtly gestured to the camera in the kitchen. Rebecca seemed to get it after a few less-subtle coughs and a nudge. Luckily for the scheming girls, the boys were too busy arguing about the difference between fat weight and muscle weight to notice when Rebecca slipped away to grab the camera.

     “Shaun, I am pure muscle. You have to be tough to break up fights, and unfortunately, I had to do a lot of that,” Desmond said.

     “Lucky for me, I don’t need brute strength to get what I want because I actually have a brain in my skull. You know, the little squishy thing that you use to tell the rest of your squishy body what to do. I use it to think about things other than what video game I’m going to play later and if I’m going to eat Takis or Doritos.”

     “Takis, no question.”

     “My point exactly.”

     Lucy whistled from her spot on the other couch and crossed her legs, smiling cheerily. The boys looked over at her, confused. She was holding a camera in one hand, and her phone in the other.

     “Say cheese.” Lucy took a picture of Desmond pinning Shaun to the couch.

     “Lucy, I think that one should go on the fridge,” Rebecca said.

     Desmond leaped off the couch with the grace of an anvil falling over and ran after Lucy, who simply ducked under things and made sure the man pursuing her was very aware of their difference in stature. Occasionally, he would make a swipe at her that would get too close for her comfort and she’d get trickier in her places to take shelter, but no matter what she did, he was gaining ground.

     “Hah! Gotcha!” he said as he grabbed her wrist.

     He easily plucked the camera from her and turned it on to delete the photograph. It took him a moment of experimenting to figure out how to work the thing, but he finally found the picture and erased it from the camera’s memory. Now finished with his quest, he handed the camera back to Lucy and went over to Shaun to harass him again. Maybe without sitting on him this time.

     The next morning, Desmond stretched out his aching shoulders and silently cursed Shaun for stealing his couch when the man had a perfectly good bed. He got up off the floor and groggily lumbered into their excuse for a kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. The milk was in the fridge, but Desmond didn’t get that far.

     Posted right in the middle of the corkboard they used for announcements, chores, and other assorted things, was a similar picture to the one Desmond thought he had deleted, from a slightly different angle. At the bottom, someone signed it.

_Rebecca, 09-30-2012, The boys are getting naughty in the common room now! (I totally knew Desmond topped. Lucy, you owe me five bucks!)_

**Author's Note:**

> This is only like my fourth slice of life fanfiction ever, and can I just say that I really enjoy writing these. I'm not too proud of this one but hey, it's better than the Kirby fanfiction I used to write. <\-- No, I am not sharing lmao  
> If I wrote Lucy/Rebecca would anyone read it? I'm kinda trash for that ship...


End file.
